Re: Notice to remedy breach.

You better believe IT IS ON.

To the people.

I received your letter / note / memo….thing.. I run this house , you are just going to have to deal with it. You are my people. Which is why it should pain me to tell you that it’s your fault. All of it. ( For the record – it wasn’t painful to say that in the least.) You simply do not care about me enough. Now, due to the instability of my little paws , on your ridiculously sized keypad, (haven’t I told you to fix that, numerous times?) I am going to submit into evidence, the following.

Exhibit A.

You will notice in this photograph I am asleep. I do this a lot, in fact, it’s one of my most favourite pastimes. I like sleeping. I do not like it when people sneak up on me, take photos with the flash on and then ruffle my well-groomed hairs and wake me up. Consider the night-time jaunts around the house as payback. Or Karma. Also, I am not the only one getting up multiple times to pee. Think on that for a moment.

Exhibit B.

What on earth were you thinking, you bat-shit crazy woman. I am entitled to sit in the tub without you filling it, and massaging smelly crap all over me, and then holding me under the faucet. Bringing the smallest member of the family in to “help” is just an added indignity, one that infuriates me.

On that note – the smallest member of the family? Needs to stop standing on my tail. It’s big, it’s bushy and I keep it right in front of her so she can see it at all times. Yet she continues to tramp her oversized Dora the explorer sneakers all over my very beautiful, and fragile body parts. You WILL sort this out. Or I will bring untold wrath down on your bedspreads while you are absent during the daylight hours.

There you have it. I eat. I sleep, and I run this house.

You wake me up, and you wash me. occasionally, you stand on me.

No jury in the world would convict me. Not when I look like this..

Face it, you are MY people and you are stuck with me.

You can feed me now.

The Cat.

0saves
Love it? Hate it? Let me know! leave a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have all things NNQ delivered to your feed reader!

10 Responses to Re: Notice to remedy breach.

  • allusiveme says:

    bhahahahahaahaha! priceless pics of her actually ‘reading’ well it has been said that dogs are grateful for their owners and owners are grateful for their cats. don’t you remember? Cats are gods.

    [Reply]

  • Erin B says:

    That was hilarious…brought tears to my eyes. From those photos I’m sure your cat does routinely think all of those things :)

    [Reply]

  • Laughing so hard I can barely type. These two posts of yours (your notice to the cat and her response) are absolutely.the.best things I have read in weeks. Months, even.

    Thanks for the belly laugh, the happy tears rolling down my cheeks and the delightful peek inside the world of your kitten’s musings.

    [Reply]

  • Miss Cat says:

    Love, love, love the pics and posts! The more I see and hear about Molly and her escapades, the more I think Mica is related to her… some how… years apart. The similarities are scary!

    Ahhh… thankyou so much for the laugh! :)
    I will be walking around with a smile on my face all day!

    [Reply]

  • Suchmaschine says:

    Man, talk about a fantastic post! I?ve stumbled across your blog a few times within the past, but I usually forgot to bookmark it. But not again! Thanks for posting the way you do, I genuinely appreciate seeing someone who actually has a viewpoint and isn?t really just bringing back up crap like nearly all other writers today. Keep it up!

    [Reply]

  • Simply discovered your web page through google and I consider this can be a disgrace that you are not ranked upper due to the fact that that is a fantastic post. To switch this I determined to avoid wasting your web site to my RSS reader and I will try to point out you in one of my posts since you actually deserv extra readers when publishing content material of this quality.

    [Reply]

  • Lovely sharp post. Never thought that it was this easy. Extolment to you!

    [Reply]

  • Hi, for some reason when I place your feed into google reader, it won?t work. Can you give me the RSS link just to be sure I?m using the most appropriate one?

    [Reply]

  • Every time I see blogs as good as this because I should stop bludging and start working on mine.Thanks

    [Reply]

  • Branchenbuch says:

    I mistyped this website and luckily I found it again. presently am at my university I added this to favorites so that I can re-read it later regards

    [Reply]

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

CommentLuv badge