Dancing In Heaven ~ Abbigail’s Story.
Before you read the following story, I recommend you read “The Hard Stuff”. Paige is a young mum, her second child is due almost any day now. Paige lost her precious daughter Abbigail to the nightmare of hydrops. Her story showcases amazing strength and character from someone most would assume would not be old enough to handle motherhood, let alone the heartache of burying a child. Thank you for sharing, Paige.
In December 2009 I was just 16 years old and found out I was 3 – 4 weeks pregnant. It was a shock to my whole family, but I decided to stand up and accept my responsibilities and raise the baby as best I could. I was excited like any mum would be, buying little bits and bobs for my baby. My family accepted the fact that I was pregnant, and started to look forward to a new baby in the family. I finally got my scan date through and I couldn’t wait to see my baby for the first time.
The day finally came and I laid on the bed and sonographer put the probe on my belly and there was my baby. So small with hands, feet, legs, arms, a belly and a head, staring straight at us. I had the biggest smile on my face. That was MY baby, my baby that I would care for. Nothing was said throughout the scan. The sonographer was focusing on my baby’s head a lot, but I didn’t think anything of it. Then she turned the screen off, handed me some photos and said “I’m sorry, your baby has a Cystic Hygroma.” I had no idea what this was, and when they explained it to me it was like my whole world ended. My little baby was poorly and I had to decide whether I would carry on the pregnancy or not.
I was sent to a consultant at a bigger hospital and he explained to me that babies with Cystic Hygromas could have a chromosome problem such as Down Syndrome, Turners syndrome, Edwards Syndrome and others. He gave me three options.
2. CVS Test
3. Do nothing.
I decided to do the CVS test to see if my baby had the problems they talked about. My results came back as positive for Turners Syndrome (Turners Syndrome exclusively affects girls), so of course I was having a little girl. We knew a little bit about Turner Syndrome, mainly that not many girls survive and what sort of problems they have. When we found out what was wrong, I had to decide again whether to carry on my pregnancy or not. I couldn’t terminate my baby, I knew the sex, I’ve seen her on the screen, I’m going to let her decide her fate. My mum started looking on the internet for support groups but we couldn’t’ find anything. But then at 19 weeks we found Rosie’s story, and then a Hydrops Support group on Facebook, and that helped me a lot.
At 17 Weeks we found out Abbigail had hydrops around her heart, Lungs, Abdomen and under her skin. After that I was scanned every week. At 19 weeks I turned 17 years old. At 20 weeks I found out that Abbigail had a heart defect, and that her aorta was smaller than it should be and that she would need an operation to repair it when she was born. At 22 weeks & 2 days I found out Abbigail had passed away, and my life ended. Even though I knew that she had only a 5% survival rate I had so much faith in her, as did other people.
On the 22nd April, 2010 at 7.11pm I gave birth to my angel. She was 1 Pound 4 Ounces and she was perfect. We had Abbigail blessed. Leaving the hospital the next day without my daughter was so hard. On the 30th of April, I buried my daughter with my Grandad. I was the one who carried her little coffin to her grave, something I didn’t want to do. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my whole life. I was 17 years old, only a baby myself and I had to bury my child.
11 Months on I understand what a healthy baby means and I help other mummies through losing a baby. I support them the best I can. I will never take anything for granted again, and I’ve learnt that health is the most important thing in life. There isn’t a day that goes by, that I don’t think about my little girl. Rest in peace, Abbigail. I miss you and love you forever.