12.32 AM – Who told the hospital people that puke green walls are calming? I really wish they would re-think the colour scheme.

12.33AM – This chair is digging into my butt. It’s kind of good though, it’s taking my mind off the pain in my stomach.

12.34AM – The “Very Busy, expect to spend the rest of your (albeit short) life here because you must be dying from the amount of pain you are in ” sign is pointing at me. It’s mocking me. It knows i’m never leaving this waiting room.

12.35AM – If i had known that the couple that came in behind me were miscarrying, I would have let them go first. I’m in agony – but that hurts so much more.

12.36AM – Why are they making them sit out here in the waiting room? Give the poor woman a bed!!

12.37AM – God, I can hear her sobbing. I just want to hug her. I think that’s frowned upon.

12.38AM – She should not have to wait out here in front of everyone. Give them some bloody privacy already!

12.39AM – Oh Good, she’s been taken back. We shall now resume the previously scheduled ‘woe is me, i’m dying’ pity party.

12.40AM – Wee! Triage time!

12.50AM – More wee! Wee in a jar type wee. (I pee all over my hands every damn. time. I don’t understand the mechanics of it, I’m sure I get more on the walls and the toilet than in the bloody jar. And on that note, i refuse to call it a ‘cup’ because I drink out of cups, I do not wee in them.)

12.55AM. Nothing like handing a fresh jar of pee to a complete stranger. Better than a stool sample, love!

12.56AM – Ugh. I can smell wee. I hope it’s not me..

12.57AM – If that smell is me, I will die of embarassment.

12.58AM – Oh. It’s not me. That’s lucky.

12.59AM – Sucks for that mum though. Nothing like a kid who wee’s AND poops on the waiting room floor in the middle of the night.

1.00AM – I don’t know what movie this is, but I’m weirdly enjoying it.

1.01AM – The lead character guy is HOT

1.02AM – Ouch.

1.06AM – I got a bed! Typically, right as I got into the movie…

1.07AM – Must lose weight. Bed is very skinny. I am not.

1.08AM – Hello nice doctor talking about morphine. You are my new BFF

1.15Am – Obs have been done. Vampires have been and taken my blood away. They swear they won’t drink it but I don’t know who to believe. Also, Morphine makes me fidgety and stupid.

1.19AM – Am suddenly panicking that I will not be fit to drive home later, and since I have the car with both car seats this could be a real problem. Have no money for a cab. And if i’m going to die, I’d rather die here in hospital than in the back of a cab in the middle of the god-damned night.

1.25AM – Pain has miraculously disappeared. Still feeling vomity – thanks to the morphine. Amazing drug, has it’s side affects. Like inherent stupidity, paranoia and stupidity. Wait. Did I say that already?

1.35AM – Doctor has been. I am to go for an xray. I am also to put on one of those sexy gowns that never fully close at the back allowing my ass to hang out. I can’t remember if I’m wearing good undies. I hope so, since the entire ward is about to see them.

1.45AM – Xray time. I must say I am amazed at how fast this is all moving considering that big sign out the front told me I would die here while I waited.

1.46AM – Wait Wait Wait. Don’t they always take the most urgent cases first? I waited for what… 40 minutes?

1.47AM – Gee. Maybe I am dying.

1.48AM – Into Xray.

2.15AM – IV is up. Something I am so familiar with. So why did I just say I’d never had one before? Oh right. The morphine. Now I remember.

2.35AM – What was I saying? Finally the jumpies have worn off. Must get some sleep..

3.01AM – Ob’s check. No blood results back yet. Doctor smell like garlic. I probably should not have told him that.

3.05AM – More sleep.

4.00Am – Ob’s check. Blood results are clear. No raging infection. Bloody big gall stones and lots of them. I can go home soon.

4.32AM –  Morphine should be out of my system now. Good news, I can drive home. Bad news, I. Am. Tired. Take it slow, try not to crash.

5.05AM – Home sweet frigging home. 55 minutes until Oliver will wake up. Gah.

5.06AM – *zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz*